Setting Things Right
by misstinarose
Summary: A year after graduation Brad tries to set his life on the right path and reaches out to Patrick. Some things stay the same, and some never change.


Brad didn't need to give anyone else another way to hurt him. Everyone already knew about his dad, hell, even half the teachers knew. However, no one ever said a word. His dad never missed a chance to call his son an abomination, unnatural, a plight on his lifestyle. He couldn't risk Patrick getting hurt too, even worse. So he just kept silent, save for the hookups at Craig's, and if they were lucky a quick peck in the hallway where no one could see. He knew he had to get out of his house, of the town, somewhere new. In college, he could start fresh, but everyone would still know him as the quarterback of the football team. He only played to get a scholarship, and so his dad could have some connection to his otherwise disconnected son. He had a plan.

He called Sam, a surprising choice but the most helpful nonetheless. Aside from Patrick, she knew him the best. He told her to tell Patrick to meet him at the park, in their spot. He knew she wouldn't know, but Patrick would. Before it was all about hiding, but there was nothing left to hide. He set off, grabbing David Bowie and Morrissey tapes, to find Patrick's favorite chocolates and to formulate an apology. They sent letters back and forth, but they were always short and to the point. They never had a chance to say their real feelings for each other, and Brad knew he had to find a way. He wanted to be like that. He didn't want to fit into the "jock" mold. That wasn't him. He loved all the things Patrick loved: foreign films, Rocky Horror, silent movies, riding in Patrick's truck with all the windows down and the radio blaring. They made him feel like he was larger than life. With Patrick, he was.

He paced across the pavement for what felt like hours, but in reality was more like five minutes before Patrick showed up. At first he was flabbergasted that Patrick, the boy he had royally screwed over with his poor timing and even worse taste in friends would even bother to speak to him again. All of the words he practiced became irrelevant. He started to stammer, "Man, I don't even know where to start. I...I love you. I still do. In high school I was a selfish ass, and you, you still cared. You were the only one that really cared, not about the facade but about me. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry I fucked you over so badly and I can never take that back, but even after he...caught us you still didn't let me go. And I can't repay you enough for that but...I uh...I found those chocolates that you loved, and some Bowie and Morrissey tapes. They'll always remind me of you"

Patrick was taken aback but he still couldn't hold back tears. Remembering the one time they even bothered to have sex properly, no drugs, no drinking, and not in Craig's spare bedroom, and how it was taken from them. It wasn't his fault that his monster of a father couldn't handle his son being different from the cookie cutter mold. When they were together, Brad was actually happy. At school, Patrick knew he always played the part of the heterosexual jock, but it never fit. Like a pair of handcrafted leather shoes a size too small, causing his feet to blister and wincing in pain, but no one noticed because of the ornate artisanship.

"You don't need to apologize" Patrick winced as the words came out of his mouth, but they were true. It had taken nearly a year for either of them to face the other but in that time Patrick realized how selfish he was. At the time he didn't understand, why didn't Brad appreciate his attempt to save him? Now he knew it wasn't anything either of them could control. Brad's father was a monster, plain and simple.

Brad looked confused; no one had ever said anything like that before. He was always being screamed at about everything was his fault. If he were a better son, more "normal," what he was supposed to be none of this would ever have happened in the first place. Sure, he was the star quarterback, honor roll student, and Homecoming king but none of that mattered because he was in love with a boy. It didn't matter that that boy tried to save his life multiple times over, it just wasn't what he was supposed to be. That simple comment "You don't need to apologize" sent him over the edge. He had never cried in front of anyone but Patrick, but for some reason he felt self-conscience about the slight tears streaming down his face. He tried wiping them off hurriedly with his hands but he knew he could never keep anything from Patrick.

All Patrick could do was watch, paralyzed to the spot, as Brad cried. It was a role he was used to, but this time he just didn't know what to do. They hadn't spoken in nearly a year, what could he do? Patrick inched closer, attempting to fill the space between them, even more challenging considering Brad wouldn't stop pacing.

"Maybe we weren't good for each other then. But maybe we can be." Patrick tried to sound as comforting as possible but he didn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. He felt like comforting a hysterical child. The reality was he didn't trust himself, then or now.

Patrick knew he could've saved Brad at any moment. Could've let him stay with Sam and him while they were in town. Could've called the cops on Brad's dad. There were a lot of "could've"s but somehow this time the past was going to stay in the past.

"Thank you, a lot, for the chocolates and everything" Patrick said curtly, trying not to give any indication of what he was about to say next. Brad smiled hopelessly, like a puppy denied table scraps but still begging for more. "Let's go out, to King's or a film or _something _later. I need to get away from Sam and I have a feeling you need to be around someone other than yourself" Patrick watched Brad's eyes lift off the ground and meet his, a smile betraying all of his anxieties. In that single sentence, Patrick fulfilled the one unspoken promise they always had when they were together. That they were going to go steady the way high school couples do. All the way, with old letter jackets and class rings, the way they deserved when they were in high school. All of the "could've"s were gone. This wasn't high school anymore.

"Um yeah, that sounds great. I'll meet you there at 8?" Brad's voice wavered. He didn't expect this to turn out this well, especially when their last encounter ended so painfully, physically and emotionally for the both of them. If he hadn't spent so much time worrying about what could happen, he might've been happy.


End file.
